Topics of the day:

1. Antique Lamp <off. to genies>
2. Quote of the Week
3. Reasons to stop writing and go to bed
4. kid's pledge (not offensive)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 18 Feb 1995 12:31:41 EST
From: MR LYLE J KINNAMAN <FVKM43A@PRODIGY.COM>
Subject: Antique Lamp <off. to genies>

A man bought an antique lamp and when he rubbed it a genie popped out.
This genie was cheap and would only grant one wish. The man wished to
have sex with three of America's most famous women at the same time.
His wish was granted and he had sex with Lorena Bobbit, Tonya Harding
and Hillary Rodham Clinton. His only problem was he woke up the next
morning without a penis, had a broken leg and no health insurance.
Lyle's Joke Boutique.

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 18 Feb 1995 11:31:00 PST
From: "Larson, Mark" <larsonm@CSS.ORST.EDU>
Subject: Quote of the Week

Book reviews:

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading
it." :-)

- Moses Hadas

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 18 Feb 1995 15:03:59 -0500
From: Jennifer Schmidt <JenSch@AOL.COM>
Subject: Reasons to stop writing and go to bed

Reasons why to stop writing a paper and go to bed

1) After three cups of coffee I can't stop singing that Bonanza song (this
part, sadly, has really happened)
2) Elvis just delivered the morning paper
3) My paper is 23 pages of "All Work And No Play Makes Jack A Dull Boy."
4) I have to go to bed so I can be rested when I get up in 20 minutes
5) What good is an edjucations, anyway
6) Did I write that?
7) Hmm... Europe would be nice this time of year
8) I've failed myself as a journalist because I don't like Edward Murrow. I
might as well quit while I'm ahead
9) Then again, I at least I don't look like Ed Murrow
10) Where is Europe?

:) Jennifer Schmidt & John Beaver
JenSch@aol.com

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 18 Feb 1995 18:43:04 -0500
From: Ilene Slightly <SlantedOne@AOL.COM>
Subject: kid's pledge (not offensive)

This was the caption of a cartoon my brother-in-law sent me. Don't know the
source. Thought it was funny and too true.

"I pledge allegiance to myself and to the self-interests for which I stand,
one kid, under pressure, with liberty and justice as I see fit."

------------------------------

End of HUMOR Digest - 17 Feb 1995 to 18 Feb 1995
************************************************