Topics of the day:
1. Evil practical jokes (Part 2 of 6)
2. Skip this if you did not take Latin.
3. Top 10 Reasons you can't remember what was before life (Off?)
4. More redneck signs...
5. Lawyers' jokes
6. lightbulb jokes
7. Nightgown <off. to senior citizens>
8. K.D.Lang (sexual)
9. BLACK HUMOR: 3 shots
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 12 May 1995 18:10:00 LCL
From: U01PA3E <U01PA3E.MHS251D@CPF-EMH.CPF.NAVY.MIL>
Subject: Evil practical jokes (Part 2 of 6)
Form: Memo
Use OEM Field: true
Text: (91 lines follow)
Subject: Evil practical jokes (Part 2 of 6)
------------------------------------------------------------
SICK AND DEMENTED PRACTICAL JOKES FOR PISSING OFF ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE YOU
EITHER DON'T KNOW OR DON'T LIKE
***DISCLAIMER*** PRACTICAL JOKES ARE JOKES. THEY ARE NOT MEANT TO CAUSE
HARM, PAIN OR IN ANY WAY ENDANGER THE JOKEE. THE FOLLOWING PRANKS DO JUST
THAT AND ARE NOT JOKES...THEY ARE DIRTY TRICKS FROM A SADISTIC MIND. AS
BEFORE, THESE ARE A COLLECTION OF MY PRANKS AND SOME PULLED OFF OF THE
INTERNET. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY REVENGE YOUR "MARK" MAY TAKE ON
YOU--A.W.C.
************************************************************
11. IF YOU CAN RUN A GARDEN HOSE INTO AN ELEVATOR SHAFT, DO IT LATE AT
NIGHT WHEN NO ONE IS IN THE BUILDING, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, NO ONE IS
USING THE ELEVATOR. FEED IT IN THROUGH THE TOP, AND WITH THE DOOR CLOSED,
THOSE PUPPIES CAN HOLD A HELL OF A LOT OF WATER. REMEMBER DURAN DURAN'S
TIDAL WAVE VIDEO.
12. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES FOR YOUR FRIENEMIES? MAKE
THEM USING WHATEVER RECIPE YOU USUALLY USE, BUT INSTEAD OF REGULAR
CHOCOLATE CHIPS, USE EX-LAX...A BOX OR TWO SHOULD DO FOR A BATCH. FIGURE
ABOUT 2 OR 3 SQUARES PER COOKIE. IN THE HEAT OF THE OVEN, THE EX-LAX LOSE
THEIR CONSISTENCY AND LOOK JUST LIKE REGULAR CHIPS. SINCE A SINGLE EX-LAX
IS SUPPOSED TO JUST SORT OF LOOSEN THINGS UP A LITTLE, THINK ABOUT SOME
POOR SAP WHO JUST ATE FIVE COOKIES (15 EX-LAX).
13. IF YOU HAVE ACCESS TO GRAPHICS ENGRAVERS, MAKE THIS OFFICIAL-LOOKING
ENGRAVED SIGN AND SUPER GLUE IT ABOVE A WATER FOUNTAIN:
+))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))+
| DRINK AT YOUR OWN RISK |
| |
| Universal Unisex Urinals, Inc. |
+))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))+
14. HERE'S ONE FROM A MIDDLE SCHOOL. THE LOCKERS WERE EQUIPPED WITH
COMBINATION PADLOCKS. A MALE STUDENT STOLE A TUBE OF LIPSTICK FROM A
FEMALE CLASSMATE AND SMEARED IT ON THE BACK OF THE LOCK BELONGING TO A GUY
WHO HAD GIVEN HIM A BAD TIME. NEXT TIME THE GUY OPENED HIS LOCKER, IT GOT
ALL OVER HIS LEFT HAND. THE OWNER OF THE LIPSTICK, WHO RESEMBLED "FAT
BROAD" OF THE BC COMIC STRIP OF THE SAME NAME, CAUGHT HIM "RED HANDED" AND
BEAT THE HELL OUT OF HIM.
15. THE O.S.S. IN WORLD WAR TWO FOUND THAT SUGAR IN THE GAS TANK IS NOT A
RELIABLE WAY TO SABOTAGE MOTOR VEHICLES. THE MYTH IS UNIVERSALLY
BELIEVED, HOWEVER. SAVE EMPTY SUGAR SACKS...DROP ONE NEAR THE MARK'S
VEHICLE AND SPRINKLE A HANDFUL OF SUGAR AROUND THE GAS-TANK HOLE. THE
MARK WILL BE AFRAID TO MOVE THE VEHICLE UNTIL THE FUEL SYSTEM IS PURGED.
IT'S FASTER AND CHEAPER THAN ACTUALLY SWEETENING THE FUEL, AND CAUSES
ALMOST AS MUCH GRIEF. I KNOW A GUY WHO DID IT TO A WHOLE HERD OF
BULLDOZERS AT AN ARMY CORPS OF ENGINEERS LAND)RAPING SITE.
16. BRING A FEW SILVER DOLLARS, A BIC LIGHTER, AND NEEDLE NOSE PLIERS THE
NEXT TIME YOU AND A FRIEND GO DRIVING. INSERT ONE SILVER DOLLAR INTO THE
PLIERS AND APPLY HEAT WITH BIC LIGHTER UNTIL WELL DONE. EJECT COIN FROM
CAR INTO A GROUP OF BY-PASSERS ON THE STREET. SIT BACK AND ENJOY.
17. AT RUTGERS, A GROUP OF STUDENTS RAN AN IMAGINARY STUDENT FOR A
GOVERNMENT POSITION. HE WAS NAMED AFTER A DOG. HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY MAKE
THE BALLOT BECAUSE HIS FALSE I.D. WAS DISCOVERED BY THE ADMINISTRATION,
BUT HE STILL WON ON WRITE-IN VOTES.
18. DAVE, A SENIOR LIVING IN THE DORMS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA, WAS
RESPONSIBLE FOR A "BEN THE RAT" CAMPAIGN. BEN WAS THE INFAMOUS RAT THAT
LIVED AROUND THE RESIDENCES, SO DAVE DECIDED TO RUN HIM FOR PRESIDENT IN
THE STUDENT GOVERNMENT ELECTIONS. HE GOT A LAB RAT, WHICH HE PRETENDED
WAS BEN. MADE T-SHIRTS, THE WHOLE SCHMEER. HE EVEN TOOK BEN TO ALL THE
CANDIDATE'S MEETINGS. FORTUNATELY, BEN DIDN'T WIN THE ELECTION, BUT I
THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN RATHER HUMILIATED TO BE THE ONE CANDIDATE WHO
RECEIVED LESS SUPPORT FROM THE STUDENT BODY THAN A RAT.
19. A FRIEND OF MINE ONCE TOOK A MCDONALD'S KETCHUP PACKET AND POKED A
HOLE IN ONE END WITH A NEEDLE. HE THEN PLACED IT IN A TOILET, BETWEEN THE
SEAT AND THE BOWL...THE SIDE WITH THE HOLE FACING DOWNWARDS INTO THE BOWL.
SUPPOSEDLY, THE NEXT PERSON TO USE THE BATHROOM CAME OUT LOOKING PRETTY
WORRIED.
20. ALSO FROM SMITH COLLEGE...A GUY RAN THIN SPEAKER WIRE FROM HIS WINDOW
TO THE BUSHES BELOW, ADJACENT TO THE FIRE ESCAPE, AND PLACED A COUPLE OF
OLD BOX SPEAKERS IN THE BUSHES. AT VARIOUS TIMES, HE PLAYED A TAPE OF
CATS FIGHTING, GUN SHOTS, PEOPLE HAVING SEX, AND SO ON. ONE TIME HE HAD A
WOMAN WITH A DEEP SEXY VOICE GET ON A WIRELESS MICROPHONE AND TALK A GUY
INTO MASTURBATING ALL OVER THE FIRST FLOOR WINDOWS.
Look everyone, these are for entertainment purposes only!!!
I don't take them seriously, and neither should you. Thanks for all who
support me... :)
Andy Cramer
------------------------------------------------------------
Use Proportional Font: true
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 13 May 1995 00:01:34 -0400
From: "CURT BRAMBLETT <ZZBRAMBLETTC@ACAD.WINTHROP.EDU>"
<zzbramblettc@ACAD.WINTHROP.EDU>
Subject: Skip this if you did not take Latin.
The Latin class was conjugating verbs and it got to be Julius's turn. He had not been paying close attention.
He turned to the student beside him and asked, "What's the verb?"
She replied, "Damifino."
So our hero sat up and conjugated:
Damifino, damifinas, damifinat.
Damifinamus, damifinatis, damifinant.
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 13 May 1995 09:37:35 -0500
From: Paul Robinson <paul@TDR.COM>
Subject: Top 10 Reasons you can't remember what was before life (Off?)
WARNING: This message may be offensive to some religious groups.
John Hoban (Shibumi@epix.net) wrote in newsgroup alt.philosophy
objectivism:
: If there is no personal ego that can remember life before this one
: how can one "remember". Isn't that supposed to be possible?
--- TOP TEN LIST BY T.A. DARCOS & COMPANY ---
(Not affliliated with Worldwide Pants, Inc.)
(Drumroll)
From the Home Office of Tansin A. Darcos & Company in Silver Spring,
Maryland, Top 10 Reasons why you can't remember where you came from
before you were born:
10. We're all virtual reality elements and this is the program we're in.
9. We're an experiment growing in a scientist's test tube.
8. This is a game, and some of us are real people playing the game, and
some are computer operated agents who don't know they are; the ones
who remember are real, and the ones who don't are programs.
7. You got sent here as punishment for something, and when you learn why
you're here, or you serve out your sentence, you die and you get your
memory back.
6. You flunked your death exam so you have to take the "being alive" course
all over again.
5. Valhalla / Heaven / Paradise is overbooked and they gave you temporary
lodging until your cloud was ready.
4. ?BABY-E-NORMINSKUL You couldn't fit your past memories into a baby's
head, and forgot to pay the surcharge for getting them back later.
3. When you came here, you paid the extra charge for not remembering your
past lives.
2. The trauma of being born has given you amnesia.
And the Number 1 reason why you can't remember what happened before you
were born:
1. This is your first time here. (Some of us have to be "virgin" lives.)
----
(Cymbal Strike, Orchestra plays piece from
"Feels like the First Time" by Foreigner, then
"Like a Virgin" by Madonna.)
Copyright (C) 1995 by Tansin A. Darcos & Company. Commercial rights
reserved under Berne, Universal and Pan American Conventions.
****
Paul W Robinson, is "TDarcos ... The Standard of Immorality" or
Tansin Arogan Darcos of the District of Columbia Territory of the USA
"Grind our enemies into the dust, and drown them in their own gore."
"Exploiting humanity since 1986."
"Above all else...We shall go on..."
_"...And continue!"_
- Servicemark Reg'd: VA May 25, 1990; Maryland August 16, 1991
--
Ask me about Listmgr - the first PC-Based mailing list manager for E-Mail.
Find out about "The Gatekeeper: The Gate Contracts" - Write to address below.
Paul Robinson - paul@tdr.com / tdarcos@MCIMail.com / tdarcos@access.digex.net
"The Greatest Philosopher in the World, maybe the Greatest who ever lived."
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 13 May 1995 09:53:19 -0400
From: Larry Scott <scott@BUFFNET.NET>
Subject: More redneck signs...
There seems to be an infinite supply of these...
You Just Might Be A Redneck If...........
- Anyone in your family has ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
- You still have an 8-track tape player in your car or house.
- You have a rag for a gas cap.
- You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention
of all time.
- You've lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
- Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
- You've ever had to scratch your sister or girlfriend's name
out of the message "For a good time, call _______."
- You have any relatives named "Elmer" or "Jed."
- You view the next up-coming family reunion as a great chance
to meet women.
- Your family tree does not fork.
- You've ever been to a funeral or wedding where there were more
pickup trucks than cars.
- Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help
take the wheels off.
- You have a "Hefty bag" for a passenger side window on your
car.
- You get an estimate from the barber before he cuts your hair.
- You've ever driven down the road with your seatbelt hanging
out of the door making sparks.
- Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
- You consider your license plate "personalized" because your
father made it.
- You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
- You think Volvo is a part of the female anatomy.
- After making love, you have to ask your date to roll down the
window.
- Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
- You've ever bar-be-qued hamburgers at the driver-in theater.
- You've ever worn a cowboy hat to church.
- You've been fired from a construction job because of your
appearance.
- When someone asks to see your ID, you show them your belt
buckle.
- Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
- Your mother has ever been involved in a fistfight at a
highschool sports event.
- You have a brother named Bubba or Junior.
- You consider Outdoor Life deep reading.
- You liked the velvet picture of Elvis that someone in a van
sold you beside the highway better than anything you saw at an
art show or museum.
- Directions to your house include: "turn off the paved road".
- Less than half the cars you own run.
- The diploma hanging in your den includes the words "Trucking
Institute."
- You had the tooth pick in your mouth when your wedding
pictures were taken.
- Your yard has ever been the site of a proposed landfill.
- You affectionately refer to the 5th grade as your senior year.
- The family business requires a lookout.
- Truckers tell your wife to watch her language.
- You don't need a clean shirt to go to work.
- You've been getting gas and another customer asks you to check
his oil.
- You've ever rolled your riding lawn mower.
- You drove to elementary school.
- Your sister subscribes to "Soldier of Fortune" magazine.
- You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high
dive at the pool.
- You've ever vacationed in a rest area.
- You see a sign that says "Just say no to crack" and it reminds
you to pull up your pants.
- You offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they
don't want it.
- The Orkin man tells you "give up; you've lost". [anybody know what this is?]
- Your neighbors have ever asked to borrow the lightbulb.
- You come back from the dump with more than you took.
- Today's dinner was too slow crossing the road yesterday.
- You get your oil changed by your barber.
- Your CB antenna is a danger to low flying aircraft
- You bring a bar of soap to a public pool
- You prefer car keys to Q-tips
- Your wife's best shoes have steel toes
Originally from Doug Dine <doug.dine@f415.n114.z1.fidonet.org>
OO
(
\/
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 13 May 1995 12:33:26 EDT
From: Ann Dellarocco <anndell@RDZ.STJOHNS.EDU>
Subject: Lawyers' jokes
Date: May 13, 1995
From: Ann Dellarocco (anndell@rdz.stjohns.edu)
Subject: Lawyer jokes
Q. How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 13 May 1995 13:12:03 -0400
From: Christian Sterling <LordKfitik@AOL.COM>
Subject: lightbulb jokes
THE CANONICAL COLLECTION OF LIGHT BULB JOKES
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the
experience.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four more to chase off the Californians
who have come up to relate to the experience.
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: None of your damn business!
A2: 50. 50? Yeah, 50! It's in the contract.
Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.
Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to write the light bulb removal program,One to write the
light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb dministrator
to make sure that nobody else tries to change the bulb at
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb and one not to change it. Note: 1 to change
and 1 not to change is fake Zen. The true Zen answer is four. One to change
the bulb.
Q: How many Carl Sagans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Billions and billions.
Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the
old light bulb was.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with
brightly colored machine tools.
Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation
specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number to dial one of
their subordinates to actually change it.
Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-001,
Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages
state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions ar
e of the form "A ------" consists of sequences of non-blank characters
separated by blanks".
Q: How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in, and the other to say "Fabulous!"
Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to change the bulb, one to witness, and the third to shoot the
witness.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem.
Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of
license fee.
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
Q: How many "Real Men" does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. "Real Men" aren't afraid of the dark.
A2: None of your damn business!
Q: How many "Real Women" does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. A "Real Woman" would have plenty of real men around to do it.
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. ("That's all right... I'll just sit here in the dark...")
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. (Hint: they are small enough to fit inside)
Q: How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!
Q: How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
Q: How many Generals/Politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,000,001: One to change the bulb, and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization
to the point where they need light bulbs again.
Q: How many med students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under
him.
Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, but they're really one.
Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
Q: How many supply-side economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself
in.
Q: How many <ethnics> does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10: One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
Q: How many strong <ethnics> does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 115: One to hold the bulb and 114 to rotate the house.
Q: How many <ethnic> gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
Q: How many people does it take to throw away a one Watt bulb?
A: Five: A Black, a Jew, two women, and a cripple...
Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It turned itself in.
Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with
the old one for the next 10,000 years.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is
than with a man.
Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There never *was* any light bulb.
Q: How many federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Sorry, that item was cut from the budget!
Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One-third less than for a regular bulb.
Q: How many Jewish-American Princesses does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
A: Two: One to get a Tab, and one to call Daddy.
Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: One to change the bulb, and the other to assume the ladder.
Q: How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 45: One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a
surprising twist at the end.
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself
symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a
netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.
Q: How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who says it's dark?
Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.
Q: How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 50: One to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him.
Q: How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: Five: While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I use
a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove his body.
Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long enough for
Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a hole down into the light
fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and replace it with a new super-high
wattage model of his own design. Meanwhile, Willie has driven up to the door
in a laundry truck. Just before Rollin's real identity is revealed, we escape
to the laundry truck, drive to the airfield, and return to the United States.
Q: How many technical writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.
Q: How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light
bulb?
A: Many hands make light work.
Q: How many Harvard students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the light bulb and the universe revolves around him.
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 13 May 1995 13:42:07 EDT
From: MR LYLE J KINNAMAN <FVKM43A@PRODIGY.COM>
Subject: Nightgown <off. to senior citizens>
A young woman is shopping at the mall and asks for 5 yards of chiffon
to make a nightgown. The clerk says, "You certainly won't need 5 yards
for a nightgown." "Oh yes I will," the young woman says, "I'm marrying
this old guy and he has more fun hunting that he does finding."
Lyle's Joke Boutique.
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 13 May 1995 10:52:38 -0800
From: "DNA: The splice of life" <MASMITH@CARINS.CARIBOO.BC.CA>
Subject: K.D.Lang (sexual)
Horrifying News!!
K.D. Lang is dead
Yep, that's right, dead. She was found face down in Rikki Lake.
ciao fer now
mike
P.S. For those who down understand the joke, K.D. Lang is an openly
homosexual county music singer and Rikki Lake is the host of an insipid
daytime talk show.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 14 May 1995 04:01:26 +0000
From: Alar Pardla <alar@EL.EE>
Subject: BLACK HUMOR: 3 shots
Once there was a competition.
The idea ov competition was - who is the best using longbow (and
arrows).
Target was an apple ontop of a little boys head.
First man steps forward, aims and shoots directly into the apple.
"I'm Wilhelm Tell."
Second man steps forward, aims and shoots directly into Wilhelms
arrow.
"I'm Robin Hood."
Then the third man steps forward, aims and shoots directly into the
boys left eye.
"I'm sorry!"
--
Hope you enjoyed it as much I did when I first heard it.
Alar
------------------------------
End of HUMOR Digest - 12 May 1995 to 13 May 1995
************************************************